I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
