Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
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