i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
