We're facebook friends in real life
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Me too!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
