Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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