last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just want to make out with him forever
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
