Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
