I just made out with a guy for $7.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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