i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
