just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
