if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
