i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
