why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You ruined the universe
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
