i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
