distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize