last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
