Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
