Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
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