Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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