she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
