Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
