and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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