I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Holy sore nipples Batman
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Randomize
