New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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