Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
