This girl is more easily done than said...
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
