A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Sext me about skeletons
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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