Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
