she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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