Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
