i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
