Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
