i barfeds in our rink
babies were throwing up all over the place
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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