feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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