And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
