you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
