I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
