idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
