Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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