i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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