I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
