I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
