I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
She's JV to your varsity
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
