I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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