I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
two words...techno handjob
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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