what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
