Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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