Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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