As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
