Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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