Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
